All the Good Ones Are Married - Or Are They?

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We have all heard the saying all good ones are married.
As true as that feels after a bad date I think it is important to remember some of the bad ones are married too.
In the last four years that I have been back on the market and I think I some how ended up on the shelves where adulterers shop.
Was I ignorant to this behavior when I was married.
Or as married women was it safer for me to ignore it? Now that I am single, I see it everywhere.
At the office, on a camping trip, and on line.
I work at a place where many families are split because of travel and often husbands spend months or years away from their families.
Two years ago a married contractor visiting the office from the New England approached me after work one evening and asked if I were single.
When I replied I was he informed me that he told his wife, "What happens in Frederick, stays in Frederick.
" and that he was hoping I would help him make things happen in Frederick.
I didn't make things happen for him and as far as I know he went back to New England disappointed with the lack of action he saw while he was in town.
Then there are the strangers who have approached me.
Camping with my son, another single mom and her boys last year I met a follow camper and his family.
My girlfriend knew them already because their boys went to the same school.
So we spent time together, all of us, the kids all played, the adults all talked and we had a great weekend.
The following week my girlfriend contacted me and said that the father asked her at school if he could have my contact information to follow up on some of the things we discussed that weekend.
Sounded harmless enough so I told her she could give him my email address.
Almost instantly the intent of his messages became clear.
He hated his wife, felt we had a connection and was hoping I would help him get revenge because she had cheated the year before.
Floored I replied that I wasn't interested in distracting him from his marriage issues.
If he wanted revenge he would have to find it elsewhere.
When I told my girlfriend she was shocked but then made me smile with her reaction, "Why didn't he ask me?" She wouldn't have done it, but she was curious why he didn't hit on her too.
After all she is a single attractive and successful women.
I am certain he was fearful she was too close to home.
After all if you are going to use a woman for revenge sex you don't want it to be one that your going to run into on the play ground or at PTA meetings.
Last but not least are the married men online.
They advertise on dating sites saying they are divorced or separated.
Talk to them long enough and the truth comes out.
I dated one man for almost four months before I discovered he was married and had no intention of getting divorced.
But he is a story for another blog.
Instead I'll share the story of one man who made it to phone calls and we were planning a first date.
The day before our planned date he called me and asked if I could keep a secret.
I said that would depend on the secret.
He replied, "You can't tell my wife".
Needless to say, there never was a first date or another phone call.
Sad as this is, it makes me hopeful.
It's an exception to the rule "all the good ones are married".
I have to believe that if the bad ones are married too, that there just may still be a "good one" meant for me.
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